Anxiety can come on fast, as if out of the blue. You might be having a great time with your loved one, with things seeming fine, and all of a sudden your loved one’s heart is pounding, they’re sweating and looking like they are going to run and hide.
When someone is feeling anxious it may be tough to speak and tell others what to do to help. They may be overwhelmed with all the sensations in their body and have a million thoughts running through their mind. They may not even know what to do to help themselves.
Know the Signs
Learn the signs to look out for. Anxiety can show up differently for different people, yet some common signs are things such as:
- Going silent or having trouble carrying on a conversation
- Looking like they are in a fog or lost in their thoughts
- Breathing fast like they are puffing
- Getting red in the face
- Shaking or trembling
- Feeling weak or faint
- Pacing, being jittery or unable to sit still
- Having stomach trouble or digestive problems
- Withdrawing from the situation or wanting to get away from what’s happening around them
Understanding Anxiety
Take time to learn about anxiety for yourself, rather than expect your loved one to explain everything to you. Anxiety is something everyone can experience from time to time. It becomes a problem when the symptoms feel too much to handle and when it interferes with someone’s daily life or causes someone to avoid everyday tasks or places they may need to go to manage regular life. Anxiety occurs when the brain senses a danger or threat to your well being and sense of belonging. You may not think there is any risk or danger yet for someone experiencing anxiety the danger may seem very real. The symptoms of anxiety are felt both in the mind and in the body.
Plan Ahead
Talk with your loved one when everyone is calm so you can plan ahead. Discuss what has helped in the past, and what your loved one most wants you to do. Talk about what your role is when your loved one is feeling overwhelmed. Some things to talk over are things like:
- Would your loved one be comfortable with you offering them tips and taking charge? Or do they want you to remain in the background and let them manage on their own?
- Does your loved one want to use medication to calm themselves if they are having a bad bout of anxiety or a panic attack? Or do they want to manage without medication? Do you know where they keep their medication if you need to get it for them?
When anxiety hits your loved one, stay calm yourself. Tell your loved one you understand they are feeling anxiety and you are with them for support. Encourage them to slow their breathing if they can, taking deeper breaths and longer exhales. Get them to focus on you. Help them focus on your face and your voice while you talk calmly to them, reassuring them you will stay with them if they want you to. Helping them pay attention to a couple things they see and hear in the moment, noticing the details of what’s around them can help them shift their attention from thoughts that are causing the anxiety. Suggest going for a walk outside, if possible, to help your loved one focus on healthy exercise in a natural environment.
If you’d like to receive more support than these few simple tips, consider speaking with a therapist trained in anxiety support.
