Research shows that practicing gratitude intentionally can improve your mental health and strengthen your relationships. Studies indicate that gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve immune function, reduce cardiac inflammation, increase happiness, improve relationships, and decrease depression. It’s amazing that this simple action of focusing on what you are grateful for in the run of a day can make such a difference in how you feel and in the quality of your relationships.
Developing a gratitude practice is as simple as fine tuning your mindset to notice small actions that happen in your day that cause you to feel thankful that they happened. For example, you might realize the bus coming on time means you get to work on time, and so feel thankful for the bus being on time. You might notice that your partner mowed the grass and you like the way your yard looks and so feel thankful for your partner. You may notice your child’s spontaneous hug at the door of their day care, and feel thankful.
Practicing a mindset focused on gratitude means paying attention to the little things that make your day easier, that lift your mood a bit or spark a bit of contentment and joy.
A bit woo woo sounding?
Perhaps all this seems a bit woo woo and you are thinking, “Well my family just knows I’m thankful for what they do… why do I have to say thanks all the time?” Or maybe you’re thinking, “You shouldn’t have to say thanks for someone doing the dishes…. I don’t expect to be thanked for doing the laundry, it just has to be done.”
Many people in relationships fall into just this kind of thinking. It is in the little things that habits form and meaning takes hold. Such thinking can result in taking the actions of others for granted, and may undermine your relationships with your family and significant other.
Why not test out a gratitude practice to see what difference it makes?
How to start a gratitude practice
Here are some tips for cultivating a mindset of gratitude for yourself:
- Go for a walk in nature and take time to notice what you see, hear, smell and feel around you. Pause and consider the feel of the air you are breathing in, the sounds of birds and animals, the colours of the leaves on the trees, the plants… Take a moment to say a silent thank you for all of nature that is around you, and let the feeling of being thankful come to your awareness.
- At the end of your day, before going to sleep, take five minutes to think back over your day and name three things that you are grateful for. Perhaps you are grateful for the very fact you got out of bed that morning, or that you had lunch during your work day, or that you made it to the school to pick up your children on time.
- Make a point of saying thank you to people who do kind things for you, such as the person who bagged your groceries, the crossing guard who helps your kids cross the street safely, the delivery driver who brought a parcel to your home. Look people in the eye when you thank them, smile and say “thank you” like you mean it. Take a moment to think about what these kind actions really mean to you.
- Scroll social media for stories people share about gratitude. Check out what others are saying about what they are thankful for and how they are feeling about it. Join the conversation.
- Start your day by feeling grateful for the skills you bring to your day and what it is you are grateful for within yourself. Consider what opportunities you have to share a thankful attitude with others during the day ahead.
To quote Kristin Armstrong “When we focus on our gratitude the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in”. Focusing on gratitude may be the change you are looking for to bring more love and contentment into your days, your mood and to your relationships.
If you are interested in exploring more concrete ways to shift your mindset and experience more gratitude in your life, please reach out. Building a focus on gratitude can be difficult if you are experiencing depression or overwhelmed with stress and life’s challenges.
